Thursday, January 12, 2006

Fucked by the Pimp

"You're awfully square, Cookie! Pimps don't get you dates, they just take your money!"*

I suppose getting fucked by the pimp is an occupational hazard for anyone who has to employ a pimp. Sure enough, this morning I do a routine check on the rate-hike we agreed before Christmas only to find... the rate is exactly the same.

I call the pimp.

I e-mail the pimp.

The pimp gets back to me.

The pimp says "I'll look into it."

I don't ask what he's looking into.

The pimp gets back to me, and claims the revised contract is "in the post."

But it's too late for this month, and we'll have to work something out. I put the phone down and have a think.

I call back, and tell the pimp about my solution to the problem. The Pimp thinks its good, and agrees to it.

We end the telephone call amicably and wish each other a happy new year.

So there you have it. The pimp takes 30% of my money, and I do his thinking for him.

Shit. I am awfully square. Cookie.

* Bree Daniels (Jane Fonda) to John Klute (Donald Southerland) in the film Klute (1971). Script by Andy and Dave Lewis. Directed by Alan J Pakula.

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